One of the hardest things we have to face as the children of aging parents, is how to help them realize that they need help……..and then how to convince them to get it. While doing research for my own family, I came across this information in a Good Housekeeping article. I hope it can be of some help to you and your family also. If you wish to read the entire article, check it out at this website..........
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/caring/aging-parents-care
Have the Conversation
The first move in gauging the help your parents need is having The Talk. You'll want to find out how much they've prepared for the future, legally and financially. For instance, do they have key legal documents such as a durable power of attorney and an up-to-date will? "Use your own experience to get the conversation going," advises Virginia Morris, author of How to Care for Aging Parents. "Say, 'I'm starting to do my own estate planning, and I wonder what you had drawn up.'" Or print out this article to show them and say, "This article says we should talk about where you keep your papers." It's vital to be prepared; otherwise, you may have to find these documents on your own if your parent, say, can no longer cover up worsening dementia.
If you've got a good relationship with your parents, tackle the tricky financial questions as well. Find out if they have long-term care insurance, and if not, how they plan on paying for nursing home care or in-home help if necessary. Again, tell your parents you're thinking about doing estate planning and wondered what financial choices they made. "Make it about you, rather than them," says Hugh Delehanty, editor in chief of AARP Publications — your parents are less likely to get defensive.
Get the Right Help
Once you have this information in hand, get your parents' perspective on how they think they are doing and their hopes for the future. Nearly 90 percent of adults over 50 say that they want to remain in their homes as long as they can. And many of them can stay put for years — with the right support. Here's how to determine the care they need and then match their needs with the most appropriate type of assistance.
If your parents are coherent but have trouble getting around, look into local transportation services and community meal programs like Meals on Wheels (whose staffers will check in on your parents periodically). These types of offerings are community-specific, and their prices vary. The local Area Agency on Aging can fill you in on what's available. Find an office near your parents at www.ccgd.org for the Dallas office or at www.nctcog.org for the North Central Texas office.
Dealing with Alzheimer's or Dementia
Memory loss goes hand in hand with getting older. It's completely normal for an older person to walk into the kitchen and occasionally wonder, "Now, why was I coming in here again?" But if your mother is, say, coming home from the supermarket empty-handed because she couldn't "find anything" on her grocery list, or if she keeps her cleaning supplies in the fridge, pay attention. These may be signs of dementia or Alzheimer's (see 10signs.org for more info). Talk to your parent's doctor to determine if Alzheimer's may be involved.
If the diagnosis is made, visit the Alzheimer's Association for information and access to support groups. A doctor who specializes in dementia care can prescribe medications that can delay the onset of symptoms, among other options. As the disease progresses, check out the MedicAlert + Safe Return program. For $50 up front and a $25 annual fee, your parent will get a bracelet or pendant identifying her as someone with dementia. If she is found wandering, responders can contact her caregiver or family and EMTs will be able to get her medical records.
After a diagnosis, your parent may be angry or in denial. Rather than dictating what should be done, involve her in the conversation. "Coming up with options and talking through them helps a parent feel a sense of control over her experience," says Peter Reed, Ph.D., senior director of programs for the Alzheimer’s Association.
Paperwork Prep
Learn where your parents keep their financial documents and medical information. This can avoid costly mistakes and let you know the extent of their resources. Here are some of the biggies (for a detailed list, check out the financial-planning area at mymoney.gov, and print one out for your folks).
• Wills
• Durable power of attorney (so someone can legally act on their behalf) and medical power of attorney
• Advance directive, like a living will, which states wishes for end-of-life care
• Life insurance policies
• Long-term-care policies
• Bank and brokerage accounts
• Social Security cards
• Medicare and health insurance cards
• Doctors' names and numbers
• List of medications
• Lawyer and accountant contact information
This is just some of the information I have discovered. I will be sharing more with you on an ongoing basis. Chris and I have both personally experienced much of this with our elderly parents. It can be a daunting task, sending everyone through the emotional wringer. But after the dust settles and the air is cleared, hopefully the family can make decisions and come to an agreement on how to proceed with their parents’ care.
Please visit our website at http://www.hereforyouhomecare.com/
to discover the services we are able to provide for your loved ones. We also offer a tip of the week on the website in addition to updated information and news in this blog. Thank you for spending time with me. I look forward to visiting with you again in the near future.
Jan
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